I want someone who I can be proud of and brag about when someone asks me to. I want someone who can be proud of himself by the things that he is doing.

This is for you, to whom i am sure not going to read this anyway because that person is so lazy to look at my blog and to read everything!

“Big pile of papers and words

taunting her haunted mind with inappropriate thoughts.

Big heads cover small thin skull

asking for a favor with an illusion of easy solution.

Distress feeling wakes her up

form that sleepy oblivious dream.

But big heads carry a lot more of them,

of big pile of papers and words. “

- amvdg2013

I remember myself writing on one of my notepads one rainy afternoon in my parent’s bedroom while listening to my favorite opm band Up dharma Down’s fragmented album. Though I cannot really remember the exact words and phrases I’ve written there(though that notepad is just a few steps from me now), the thought of me writing poems and short stories when I was still in my high school days makes me feel good at some point. My writings during those times were a trying-hard-to-be-deep poems that I really thought if I would post it online(my blog, multiply, way back then) would become viral and all. And yes, I had a dream of being famous. And still dreaming somehow, but of course in a different manner. 

Forgive me for writing a poem above, it was a trying hard one(yes, I tried very hard lol) but hey, it was an impromptu. 

Writing a poem. I kind miss it. Like missing my pink teddy bear. Like missing my nanny lola beth who took care of me when I was still a little kid. Like missing our cats and writing this one makes me cry right now. Like missing blogging in all of my blogs. 

Now, I want to try it again. Live with it again. I’ll try not to be a trying hard but then, I’m not a professional not to make mistakes. I just want to write again…

Everything in my mind.